Black. Lesbian. Fat. Stud. Hungry. Ever-Evolving. Trying to do better. Enjoying the days I'm not up to it, then forgiving myself and getting back on track. A work in progress. Basically, I've been through storms and trials and tribulations and I've come out on the other side laughing and smiling each time, so overall, I'm a pretty happy person. I am NOT afraid of this life...but I am afraid of bungee jumping. Perspective people, perspective.
Because I'm so random! My interests are varied and I'm far from stereotypical. I feel like I've spent a great deal of my life keeping a straight face while people's eyes popped out of their head, because of something I said or did or expressed an interest in, that they never expected from me. I have yet to meet a single person that looked at me and guessed my story. I'm proud of that. I am not my hair or my skin tone or my sexual orientation...I'm ALL of it. And then some!
Plus, I think Darth Vader is cool. Doesn't get anymore nerd official than that!
I'd probably have to say Shonda Rhimes. She really has changed the game for any black, female writer. You can't help but be touched by her. What she's done in the writing universe is amazing. I built my whole life and career around my art and design abilities, so when I began to embrace my writing voice, she was never far from my mind. I've watched episodes of Grey's Anatomy and wondered if maybe my favorite line wasn't one she wrote. I pray someone feels that way about anything I say, someday.
I've recently got on Twitter and it's really expanded my blerd connectivity level. Before, I was on Facebook and it was all about being connected to the geeks I know and the ones they know. After that, I was a Google expert. Now, thanks to Twitter, I just follow one @ sign to another and it's like the whole universe is at my finger tips. It's pretty darn cool.
I'm in high school and I've decided that I have to attempt to be a feminine woman. Now, my high school was Catholic, so if you didn't wear skirts, you had to wear khaki-style pants. I hadn't worked my way up to skirts, so on the day that my science class was doing a walk to the local jail, I showed up in tan khakis and a new pair of tall, black clogs. It was a long walk. After leaving the jail, we decided to take a short cut through a dirty, grassy field, which seemed like a good idea at the time. Thing is, as all of my girlfriends walked briskly through the dirt, I took a nice, big tumble in the clogs. I was not a small girl and it was not a pretty fall. Even worse: I spent the rest of the school day being teased mercilessly about it. The next day, I was back to my church shoes. Self acceptance is easier to walk in.
Oh gosh, I have so many! I'll list the appropriate ones: "The Bizness" "Hot Mess" "Aint nobody got time fa dat!" "Lemme hold something?!" "Now see, what had happened was..." "Tryna make a dolla out of 15 cents..." "Aint got a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of!" "Shakin like a hoe in church!" "Runnin through hell in gasoline drawls" "It's so quiet you can hear a rat piss on cotton!"
Okay...maybe all of those weren't appropriate...
I want to remain a creative, employed, graphic designer in Corporate America, even as I pursue my writing as an open, brutally honest, vocally passionate, thoughtful, potty-mouthed, humorous, oft-tactless but always well-intentioned, out and proud lesbian blogger. Mmm. We're gonna see how that turns out!
There's something new almost everyday! But reading "Outliers" by Malcolm Gladwell has really put me in a great space. I keep asking myself...am I an outlier?! Maybe not on the Bill Gates level, but in a less big and rich way?
Definitely. I'll be sending them your way soon!
Don't be afraid to embrace who you are and share it with others. And don't be discouraged when they give you their feedback. And even if you KNOW they're hating, still think on what they've said. I've found that nuggets of wisdom fall out the sky from the most unexpected of clouds.
And most importantly, never let those down moments keep you down. They only last for a bit and then you're right back on the grind. SOMEBODY WILL BUY WHAT YOU'RE SELLING. Keep that storefront open!